When I read different diabetes related blogs, a good portion of them say that everything would be a lot easier if they were diagnosed as a young child. While I understand what they are saying here, I am going to have to disagree with their statement.
I understand where they are coming from because it seems like if you get diagnosed earlier, the more time you have to get used to everything and you really don't know any other way of life so you don't know what you are missing. But for me, I don't think this way. I get where these people are coming from and I respect their opinion, but to me, I think the complete opposite.
I was diagnosed when I was just five years old.
It is true, I rarely remember life before diabetes. But that is not a good thing in my book. I was forced to grow up a lot faster than any child should. When you are five years old, you should not be worrying about anything except what toy to play with next. But I was forced to worry about my health before anything else. At five years old, I was giving myself multiple shots every day, I was pricking my finger multiple times a day and I had to watch everything I ate. This is not supposed to be the life of someone so young.
I lost my innocence when I was diagnosed. I no longer looked at the world the same because I was constantly asking God, 'why me?'
While many people think it is a blessing that I do not remember much before I was diagnosed, I think it is a curse. People who are diagnosed in their teens or twenties had a normal life up until their diagnosis. They were able to grow up at a normal pace and for the most part, have a normal life like any kid should.
And for those people who think that being diagnosed earlier would have made things easier because I had more time to get used to this disease, do not realize that this is something that you will never get used to. You may learn to tolerate living this way, but it is never something that you get used to. It is always with you and you can't just ignore it (which I have tried to do many times and DO NOT recommend it). But I have learned over the years that you can't let it define who you are as a person. It can help shape who you are, but you can not let it define you.
I have always felt a little out of place with my friends because I am usually one of the more mature ones and I think that has a lot to do with the fact that I was forced to grow up too fast at a very young age. While being more mature has definitely come in handy in some aspects of my life, I still wish I would have been diagnosed at a later age so that I could have somewhat of a normal childhood.
And I know that other people who were diagnosed later in life do not agree with me and I respect their opinion, but I am just sharing mine.
But despite what I said, I can't help but wonder if I would be any different if I would have been diagnosed later in life. My diabetes has shaped me into my own person and I am very proud of what I have accomplished so far in my lifetime. So in one aspect, I am grateful I was diagnosed so early because it made me who I am today, but on the other hand, it would be interesting to see how different I would be if I was diagnosed later in life.
But despite when I was diagnosed and when I wish I would have been diagnosed, it happened and everything happens for a reason and you have to learn to live with it. And most importantly, you have to learn how to not let it define who you are as a person.
Diabetes is a part of me, but it is not all I am.
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